I was 17 years old when it happened.
Fast asleep in my twin bed, I was awakened by a faint but persistent noise in the distance. I tried closing my eyes and sleeping through it, but the low vibrating sound simply would not go away.
Was there construction going on outside? Was my mom using the blender? Just what was this sound that dared to intrude upon my teenage 10-hour marathon slumber?
At this point my body was positioned the same way it usually is when I wake up in the morning– kind of like I’m in a hospital bed giving birth to a baby, laying flat on my back with my knees bent and the bottoms of my feet planted on the mattress.
In frustration with the unrelenting sound, I put my legs down. And what do ya know, the sound stopped.
And that’s when it hit me: I had been letting out a long continuous 5-minute fart. My ass was an alarm clock going off, and all I had to do to hit the snooze button was put my legs down.
It was a strange but entertaining story, so I told the 2 little girls I was babysitting back then about it. They agreed that it was a good one. And when I returned to their house the next weekend to babysit, they told me that that their parents thoroughly enjoyed the story too. (What?! Oh noooo!!!)
People love when you tell funny fart stories. Here’s why:
- The punchline is never so complex, vague, or high-brow that it goes over people’s heads.
- The punchline is never mean. It doesn’t demean anyone, find joy in their flaws and misfortunes, or rely on the sharp sting of sarcasm. Fart jokes are innocent and pure.
- Fart humor is inclusive and inviting. It doesn’t discriminate. It is for everyone no matter your age, race, status, or sexual orientation. Everyone can relate to an embarrassing fart story (because everyone has 2-4 of their own).
- The fart story teller has confirmed that he is human. He can laugh at his flaws. He is unsuccessfully trying to get through life without acquiring any new stories to add to his Most Embarrassing Moments list, just like we all are. He makes us feel like we’re fine just the way we are.
Farts give us opportunities to be brave and kind. When we share our fart stories with others we seek to bring them joy and laughter, but we do so by poking fun at our own ugly (sometimes stinky ) humanity, not criticizing others for theirs.
I now invite you to share your best fart story in the comments below. Please, please, please do not make me be the only person who publicly shared a fart story today!
(Note: When you leave a comment you’ll be asked to provide your name. You don’t have to give your real one if you don’t want to!)